What to do when old coping strategies no longer work and everything seems to fall apart?
Context
Alice[1] is in her early thirties and working as a marketing specialist with a top 5 service company. In a recent reorganization most of her colleagues have been fired. When things started to overwhelm her she spend two weeks at home. Now she has difficulties concentrating and tires quickly. The interim manager has relieved her of the most demanding tasks, but there seems to be no improvement.
Request
Help Alice to either adjust to the new situation in a way that works both for her and for the company, or to take steps towards a more appropriate career.
Analysis and approach
Alice worked with a coach for 3 months, a total of 6 2 hour sessions. Using a personal assessment tool, an intake with her manager and a the first 2 interviews with her habits that work and behavioral patterns that are destructive were identified. When we start to see what gets us in trouble in the first place we are not automatically able to change to status quo, but we can start to adjust. The keys to successful change are in awareness, motivation and of course the mastery of alternative tools and behaviors. These are discussed, prepared and practiced with the coach.
After less then a month Alice starts to see what she can change and what is beyond her reach. Now that she is more in control of the situation her stress levels start to drop. Instead of continuously focussing on what is negative and wrong there is now more eye for what her strengths are and what she likes to do. She discovers that ‘trying harder’ is perhaps a strategy that worked in some cases in the past, but now brought her on the verge of serious burn out.
Together with her manager Alice composes a set of tasks that fit her qualities much better and are also a much needed contribution to the team. A new hire is specifically recruited to contribute to the team nj the areas that Alice and her teammates do not excel.
Meanwhile Alice continues working on herself by self control, exercise and basic mindfulness. She is off ‘auto pilot’ when it comes to requests and pressure from her environment, listening better and looking for adequate solutions, that in some situations are not with her, but with somebody else.
Result
After a period of over 2 months in which the coach is there as a back up, but never consulted, he finds a relaxed and self assured Alice, so once again has a spring in her step and a smile on her face. She spent a lot of time the pasts months reflecting on the patterns in her thinking and acting. The new focus she found in the second interview is still very much on the forefront of her mind. Interacting with her environment she feels much more authentic than before, and the initial insecurity about how people would respond has faded. She has become more productive and is once again regarded is a much appreciated member of the team.
How valuable do we become when dare to bring out into the open what is alive within us?
[1] The case is real, the name has been changed